Tuesday, April 20, 2010

three conclusions about america.

a friend of mine died in afghanistan last week.
has that happened to anyone else yet?

i don't think i've ever understood the word "senseless" so. quite. much.

and i thought about writing his lovely blonde wife.
just to tell her what a good friend he had been to me.

but it was too sad to bear. and there's a baby over there.

(he's got red hair.)

so i let it pass.

put on some comfortable shoes.
took myself for a walk.

outside i started to think about how
when i was a kid
my best friend's name was erica.

well they call me amanda, you see.

and we had black hair.
oh, and we had barefeet.

we swam naked in the river.

and they called us america.

we climbed hills turned mountains.
we made towers outta trees.

(we weren't bothered with the birds back then.
we didn't give a damn about the bees.)

we danced to our parent's records.
we told secrets of our own.

and they called us america.

and then nothin really happened.
but everything went down.

the next thing i knew that girl's mom had passed away.

the marathon runner
got breast cancer

and goodbye.

and i thought about calling her raven haired daughter.
just to tell her what a good friend she had been to me.

but it was too sad to bear. her cryin out there.

(and her mom is whoknowswhere?)

so i let it pass.

now i'm back on that walk.
in those comfy shoes of mine.

and i pause next to a bus stop.
inside the bus there is a woman.
mid 40's and awfully obese.

i want to write her a message.
i want to yell:

get off the bus!
get off a block early!
walk!
it's not too late for you to walk!

but i just stand there. match her frown with a blank stare.

(it's not that i didn't dare.)

the bus passes.

i wonder if they would still call me america?

by the time i get home i've come to three conclusions:

1) i know that i am.
2) that my friend was.
3) that his son will be.

i suppose there's a lot more pavement in between me and the rest of it all.

but it's not too late for any of us to walk
america.

1 comment:

Dakota, Paige, Ashlee, and Jessica said...

holy hell, you just changed my life.