Friday, December 10, 2010

blogging for abode here and there these days!
it's basically the opposite of what i do here, very bright and girly and cheesy, which is nice! it makes me put on my positive polly shoes. and that aint a bad thing. go check it out, including my cute headers and stuff.

and if you live in salt lake come in and visit me at abode! right now! and bring me food!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

gone to istanbul in my mind

these pictures are making me salivate.






come with me?

via this rad chick's blog

Monday, December 6, 2010

hilarious

pie chart on the number of mormon bloggers

Thursday, December 2, 2010

why my family is the best

From: Sister Sue


page four and i laughed out loud already
9:08pm 12/1/10


Sent:12/1/10
9:11pm
Received by Sister Sue 9:11pm
Message: i made cookie dough for dinner


From: Sister Sue
Victory
9:12pm 12/1/10

that's why

Friday, November 26, 2010

send us up



to the spirit in the sky.

Thursday, November 25, 2010



we were driving cross country and stopped at some random gas station in omaha for cigarettes and ham sandwiches. we were really happy.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

recipe swap

i was doing so well on the domestic front for awhile but i've lost all motivation lately. so i thought it'd be lovely if everyone, and i mean EVERYONE who visits my ridiculous little blog (that means you, the one person from denmark who checks it daily for some reason) leaves a comment with their current favorite recipe.

please save me from my baked potato and veggie burger rut! please.

ps as soon as i get home i'll leave a comment with a recipe too, promise kids.

why the movies are not real life part deux

because in a movie you would never be wearing dirty long johns and a darth vader t shirt when your guy's ex girlfriend walks into the laundry mat on a sunday night.

that's why.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

i want to make one!




if i find the right cabinet, maybe i can make one for miss eden.

jesus?

Monday, November 15, 2010

oh wow.

these australian honda ads just made my day.



oh the fixed gear bike.

and just when i thought it couldn't get any better, they have to bring in bangs:



now THATS a sweater i would pay $80 for.

if you don't know who bangs is, you should probably you tube "meet me on the facebook" right now. i'm just saying.

the new

urban outfitters catalog makes me want to light things on fire for some reason (ahem, the w lounge, ahem)



someone would really pay $80 for that bunny sweater?

the only cure for this kind of anger is to go to look at this fucking hipster and laugh at things like this:



we had



the best brunch ever at ruth's diner on sunday. AND they serve booze. new favorite breakfast spot.

ps if you look really close sean is wearing his new favorite thing in the world...his brick and mortar t. we love brick and mortar and you should too.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

oooo foxy lady

why am i late for work you ask?



that's why.

Friday, November 12, 2010

on a much brighter note

(literally)

did you know i work here?


friday night

and i'm just dreaming.





scribbling in my notebook. abillionandahalf ideas stocked up for the day when it all comes true. i know it'll happen. and i know why i need to wait (it's all that money and education i don't have yet right?) and i love the work i'm doing now, but i'm growing impatient.

cuz i know my store would be magic.

darth vader



does your coffee maker remind you of darth vader when you open the lid? cuz mine sure does.

my guy

From: Jed Head
I wonder if there is anywhere you can rent puppies
7:28pm 11/11/10

From: Jed Head
We should have a pay to view puppy parade, it could be a smashing success. who doesn't want to watch a bunch of puppies on floats
7:31pm 11/11/10

where did i get him from? oh that's right, the bar.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

big ol bell bottoms



with a polka dot top? why yes please. thanks emerson made

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

why planned parenthood is scary

earlier this year when i started dating my guy i attempted to get on birth control. the result was an extremely disheveled version of my already slightly on edge self literally crying over spilt milk and somehow finding a way to blame my boyfriend for everything from the state of my hair to the state of foreign affairs. it was not pretty kids. thus, we stopped the funny business to reassess.

a couple of months later i made the trek out to planned parenthood to see what kinda hormones they suggest i eat to lower the chances of me murdering someone. first off, we all know that any gyno office is not a warm and fuzzy kinda place. there i was, freezing my nipples off in their paper gown, staring at diagrams of vaginas and charts on std's as i explained to the doctor that i didn't need a pregnancy test. i just got off my period. and i hadn't gotten any lovin in months. still, she insisted. so i peed in her cup and waited as she went to dip her little omnipotent stick in my urine.

now, i am no stranger to the at home pregnancy test. i know it takes three minutes to give you the plus or minus. three minutes passed. three more. ten minutes. ten years. and the panic began.

what if i'm pregnant?
how could that be? it would have to be some kind of immaculate conception!
would i have to start a church?
oh no, i drank at least half a bottle of whiskey last night!
great, there is a possibly divine creature living in my womb and i've already given it fetal alcohol syndrome!


the door opened and in came the doctor; avoiding my puppy-like pleads for eye contact she sat down at her computer. fiddled with her mouse. fixed her hair. knit a sweater.

at this point i felt as though my uterus had begun to crawl its way up my body and was trying to exit via my mouth. i swallowed to push it back down and the silence was broken by my womb yelling: oh hell no!

excuse me? the dr said as she painted her nails.

what was the test result? i croaked.

oh, ha, you're not pregnant, she said.

at this point i didn't know if i was going to cry, hit her, or fling myself down a flight of stairs justtobesure. (oh don't throw a hissy, i'm kidding. of course i know that children are a blessing, and children are beautiful. but sean and i possess, between the two of us, the stability of an anorexic tight rope walker on lsd. it's a pretty scary thought, ok?)

the rest of the visit went just fine and i walked away the proud owner of a three months supply of nuva rings. still, i can't help but think that the doctors at planned parenthood use some serious scare tactics on their patients. and me already being the kind of hypochondriac who could think herself into being pregnant with some drunk holy child, i just don't think i can hang.

so if you ever wonder why i get a lump in my throat when you mention the double p's...

that's why.

do what deer woman says



Tuesday, November 9, 2010

how to make me drink 3 glasses of wine in 30 minutes:

introduce me to your parents. it's not necessarily the fact that your dad has the intimidating nickname of "the badger" that has me swigging boxed merlot, but more the fact that i am about as emotionally developed as an amoeba.

how to make me want to throw up above mentioned glasses of wine:

announce to your parents in the first five minutes: amanda got scared and chugged a bunch of wine.

charming.

mold



i wish i could say that it's not real life, but it is. a leaking hot water pipe in our basement turned our house into the amazon jungle. expanding door frames, oozing goo, and the highly unattractive smell of mildew are just a couple of the joys kyl and i will have in our lives for the next little bit.

dear dream apartment, really?

it was also comforting to see via facebook that all my friends and family are so very concerned for our well being.

keep your hands off my lamps lemon. you hear me?

speaking of lamps:



oh hi. lovin this image via halligan and jess and figured i should end this post with somethin' at least kinda pretty.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

how to please me

tell me it's okay to close the store early so i can go with my guy to a jazz game. (i'ma lucky gal.)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

"if i could have one wish in the world it would be tim gunn reading me a story every time i'm sad. it's normal."

Monday, November 1, 2010

getinmylife




lovin the etsy shop tiny vintage wardrobe

Sunday, October 31, 2010

looking for alaska

last winter my ever-increasingly adventurous cousin told me, around a fire on a california winter night, that i would enjoy a book called looking for alaska.

oh was she ever right.

thanks mister green, you did good.

and you too becki. if i had novels like this as an adolescent, and maybe just a teacher or two like you, perhaps thinking back on middle school wouldn't make me want to piss myself, cry, and toilet paper all grown ups.

"i wanted to be one of those people who have streaks to maintain, who scorch the ground with their intensity. but for now, at least i knew such people, and they needed me, just like comets need tails."


as for the rest of you. perhaps you should pick this up. just sayin.

how to make sure i never attend your yoga class again

actually ask me to smile as you torture me with five more breaths in the plank pose. i'm not into s&m, thanks though.

happy halloween


Saturday, October 30, 2010

i was

planning on venting about some work stuff right now, but then decided to maybe be just slightly professional for once and not talk about business on the interweb.

SO, instead, i'll just show ya'll a photo of the "full blood" event put on by aiga salt lake featuring local artists and furniture by abode.



(cuz if ya can't say anything nice you mine as well just show a pretty picture.)

OR

just send me a picture of this kid dressed as a kangaroo.




cuz i mean really, i'm not made of stone.

how to make me less grumpy

show up at my work just to kiss me and say hi and ask what kind of beer i'd like for you to pick up at the liquor store. oh, and don't forget to knock everything over on your way out. cuz you wouldn't be you if you didn't break stuff, and i mean that sincerely.
this room is oh so charming.



and i'm envious of their record collection. some day.

love is a rose

but you better not pick it. it only grows when it's on the vine. hand fulla thorns and you'll know you missed it. you lose your love when you say the word mine.

see ya later summer





see ya later music festivals, and farmers markets, and daisy dukes. you are sorely missed.

Friday, October 29, 2010

how to make me gag

every time i see a guy and a girl chatting over beers at a bar like twilite i can't help but think the look in his eyes must mean: i'll see your red itchy bumps and i'll raise you some funky colored discharge.

and then it's not the whiskey that has me running to the bathroom.

pepper pond town rants

this week:

1) look, i'm not saying fur is right and i'm not saying it's wrong, i'm just saying it's warm. and pretty. and that i dontwannahearaboutit from a straight edge vegan tattoo artist city boy who's never even seen a rabbit in real life and likes to feel all warm and fuzzy about himself cuz he gets buzzed off orange soda and shops at whole foods. pretentious motherfucker.



2) for someone who is perpetually sober your "art" sure does look like you were pissingalloveryourself drunk when you created it.

3) i'm going to need more than this tiny shot-sized beer to make me feel as though i didn't waste these shoes on a shitty night.

4) raise your hand if you haven't swapped std's with 75% of the people at this event at some point in time. no takers? didn't think so.

5) how to get sliced: go ahead, ask me one more time if you have to help me move all the furniture you borrowed (for free) back into the store.

why movies are not real life

because when there is a babe using the washer next to you at a real life laundry mat you will invariably drop a pair of holey bambie panties on the ground at his feet and then run into the change machine in your haste to escape. everytime.

that's why.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Friday, June 25, 2010

brother,

i am beginning to form a prejudice against the educated.

it's awful, really.

it's just the way they regurgitate their professor's lectures back to me.

hands waving enthusiastically like that of a used car salesman,

or a presidential candidate,

as they carry on and on about the themes of dostoevsky's later novels.

meanwhile,

i am calculating,

in the tiny little corner of my mind that operates mathematically,

how many packets of top ramen i could purchase with the four dollars they spend on their lattes.


yes, we have read the same books.

no, we do not have a thing in common.


these days i am seen out and about with a boy

who often forgets the difference between you're and your.

but when he talks to me about bukowski his eyes light up.

and when i slip an ee cummings poem into his back pocket

i find his favorite lines scribbled on the back of his hand the next day.


today i wandered like a zombie through the library of the university

and fought the urge to hide all my favorite books

from the dirty fingers of the pretentious savants and their collegiate snobbery.


i fear this is going to become an issue for me.

i'm too old to be this narrow minded.

too young to be so jaded.

(though i shoot whiskey like an old man i talk shit like a tenth grader and i'm beginning to think i am not my age at all i'm nothing but a combination of a strange upbringing and some wildly intense genes but hey, this run on sentence is nonsensical and a bit off the subject)

still, the prejudice grows.

any suggestions?

Friday, June 18, 2010

homie hoppin hipster whores

hit the highway.

(it's called alliteration kids)

a 12 passenger van

and 6 of the best babes i know.

plus chicago

and about a gazillion and a half amazing bands.

that's right,

i said a gazillion and a half.

tonight i'm getting extra excited for our august girls trip to lollapalooza.

the 15 year old in me might cry when i see spoon play:



and the really embarrassing girl in me is stoked on the fact that lady gaga will be there:



ps that video is worth watching just for the amazing black and white striped sofa and all the wallpaper, oh the wallpaper!

not to mention the strokes, grizzly bear, metric and so much more.

is it august yet?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

found



on the side of the road on my way to the flea market on sunday.

and turned into this:




on monday.

who's blog has more photos and pricing. love it.

salty streets

was a complete success.



come next month and bring everyone you know. please and thank you?

Thursday, April 29, 2010

one man wolf pack.

we hide him around the house. and when you find him it's your turn to hide him again.
(concept stolen from my family and our ninja man.)





take a look at the bottom picture. how sad is it when someone hides something from you in the SHOWER?! hahaha. i know i'm a dirty hippie girl, are you trying to tell me something kyl?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

the cusp of love.

i woke up this morning and i realized that i almosthate him.

i suppose that's what happens when you stay in that almostlove phase for too long?

so what does one do when the cusp of love becomes the cusp of hate?

well, i don't know about everyone else but i ate chocolate cake for breakfast and went about my business as usual.



i submit that the only cure for a broken heart might be chocolate cake and sweet and spicy tea.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

it's normal



moonshine bambie and stardust amber raven.

they're sisters.